Motivation: An Inside-Out Guide On How To Get And Stay Motivated.
When it comes to motivation and commitment, most of us complicate things more than we need to.
We don’t mean to do it but we simply don’t have all the pieces together to form a cohesive and coherent picture of the situation.
Which means that we’re not seeing all that there is to see about what we already have available to get us to our desired destination with ease.
We use old lenses to try to see a new direction which means we inevitably end up stuck and give up far earlier in the journey than we need to.
So without out further ado here’s an inside out guide on how to get and stay motivated so you create results you want wit far more ease than you currently are.
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Blog post after the jump.
Motivation & Commitment Aren't What You Think They Are...
If you’ve ever thought that you lack motivation or commitment to what you say you want in your life then you’re probably looking at it like this:
You want to move from destination A to destination B.
But to get destination B, you believe that you’ll need something to push you and fuel you continuously until you get to the finish line.
This is seems to be how the world teaches us how to get stuff done.
We expect something from outside to fuel us so that we can push ourselves towards what we want.
And even when we say we’re committed to what we want, we start with a mindset that goes along these lines:
“If I want something hard enough, I’ll have to be committed to it and along the way, part of that commitment will include sacrifice.”
The problem with both these faulty premises is that :
It assumes that we’ll have to give up something that we most likely love to get what we want.
It also assumes that we’re lacking in some way and we need some kind of fuel or outside source to push us along to get to where we want to go.
No wonder a lot of us tend to be “commitment-shy.” And even when we say we’re committed…
…No wonder we find it difficult to stay the course of the journey to seeing more of what we want coming into our lives.
A New Way To Think About Motivation
In my own life, as well as with clients I work with, I’ve found much greater success in creating and getting more accurate and speedy results with a different way of looking at motivation and commitment.
I call it the buy-in.
In the past, I had always thought that once I knew what I wanted, all I needed was a plan to get me there.
And no matter how hard it was for me, as long as I pushed and kept at it, and showed I was committed…
…eventually, I would get to my destination.
But most often I never got to the destination.
Or if I did, it was with a lot of pushing, energy expenditure and mental drama.
And along the way, I would look for things to motivate me and give me the willpower to carry on.
Then I would spend so much time seeking validation from anyone willing to listen about my struggles or I would throw money and even more energy at it.
But over the last two years or so, I’ve noticed a pattern that seems to come up over and over again for me when it comes to commitment and motivation.
And it is that:
It’s not so much about the “doing” of stuff or making stuff happen.
Rather, commitment and motivation is your level of acceptance or buy-in to whatever you say you want to see in your life.
When I’m clean, clear, specific and bought-in to something, it falls into place and it’s a done deal.
But when I’m not bought-in to it, that’s when I alway seems to need the outside fuel to get me there.
That’s when I think I need to push hard or sacrifice something in order to achieve what I want.
And that’s when I feel the need to rationalise stuff and fight with my mind.
As I see it, the higher the level of buy-in, the greater the chances of success will be.
And this true for every circumstance.
From employees in organisations that need to buy-in to the changes before success can happen…
To kids that need to buy-in on some level to the idea of the curfew times set before a semblance of peace and discipline can occur.
Think about it…
Without a buy-in on some level, the chances of success become very slim.
Things feel really hard because we're not bought in at the highest level to what we say we want.
Most often, the things we want start out as nice ideas.
But our level of buy-in to those things is what determines how often we show up to them.
Usually there are 3 levels of buy-in:
Level ONE is resistance.
Before you can resist something, you’ll have to be awake to it’s existence and possibility.
If you weren’t awake to it, you wouldn’t bother raising enough energy to mount a resistance against the possibility of it.
At this level, usually the next step to what you need to do will present itself but…
Most often, you resist and almost always wait for other other options.
Almost like you’re trying to buy more time to see if something else will come up.
On it’s own, this level isn’t bad but…
But it can be damaging because you’ll find that sooner or later, external forces will force the change on you.
Like a heart attack forcing you to rethink your resistance to changing your current lifestyle.
Or an eviction notice that forces you to rethink your resistance to adjusting your spending habit.
Which brings us to the level 2 buy in…
Level Two is Agreement And Acceptance
At this level of buy-in, you’ve accepted that change has to happen and you’ve agreed to it.
Majority of us fall into category.
We all want to change that diet so we can look and feel better.
And we all want to save more money and make more money.
We genuinely accept the idea of change and agree to it but…
Sooner or later, those workouts that were meant to happen 4-5 times a week have fizzled to once a week – if at all…
And we suddenly you can’t find anymore places to cut back on those expenses.
Then you wonder how you ever got into this situation or agreed to it in the first place.
It feels really hard and it feels like you have to sacrifice stuff.
And you’re regretting ever starting and also resigned to the fact that this is just how things will be – unless an outside force or fuel pushes you to your destination.
Does all this sound familiar?
And there-in lies the problem with agreement and acceptance.
The need for outside fuel.
And without it, it seems like you are doomed and resigned to life being stuck where you don’t want it to be.
But there is something that lies beyond agreement and acceptance.
And at this level, this where things happen from the inside-out.
Level Three – Embracing The Change.
When you embrace the change, and when you embrace the possibility of good things coming from it…
Better still, when you embrace the possibility that there is a universal source that we all tap into as human beings…
…Things begin to fall into place with ease.
There is nothing that you have to “MAKE HAPPEN” at this level.
And that is the beauty of it.
When you are tapped in to that part of you that is unchanging and unchangeable.
That space within where your default and true nature reside…
Inspiration for the change you seek rises up.
Suddenly ideas to save and make more money become more of a creative process rather than the sacrifice it seemed before.
Insights from that space allow you to move from having no prospects to having an inspired action in the blink of an eye.
Whilst you might stumble at some points…
Moment by moment there are new insights that allow you to keep surfing the waves above the circumstances that kept you previously stuck.
And as you show up and engage from that space within, more insights and your innate wisdom show up with you…
…Until you get to your destination.
And the best part is…
…You’ll have more fun than ever imagined and feel more grounded and at peace at each moment.
Motivation Is NEVER about "Pushing Hard" and "Making It Happen"
When you’re bought-in 100% into something, it seems like a natural knowing that it will come.
The result of being bought-in seems to create a natural acceptance of the outcome – even when you don’t know all the details of it.
In fact, you’re not bogged down by the details of how it will come.
There’s no “gung-ho” sense of trying to create a plan to make it happen.
But there is a sense of lightness and acceptance around the idea of it.
And that sense of acceptance comes from knowing that you are more than the “machinery” of WHO you are.
That underneath the noise of your thinking is where true essence resides and it is where you connect to the Universal mind that powers all life.
And if it’s to be, it’s not fully up to you and it never was.
So your job is simply to buy-in to the idea of it and buy in to the possibility of the good things that can come from it …
…And the rest will begin to unfold.
The steps to get you there will begin to present themselves.
More often than not, when it seems like there’s a lot of energy expenditure and noise in your mind about what you want…
Check in and ask yourself what your level of buy in is
Because this is what determines how quickly things come into play in your life.
Your Buy in to whatever you say you want is what your motivation and commitment really is.
Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not feeling the motivation or willpower like you think you should for things that you say you want.
It simply means your level of buy in is not yet high enough.
And that’s not good or bad, it’s just what it is.
But at any point, you can decide to buy-in to the idea of it.
You can decide to embrace the possibility of the good things coming from it and make that thing an 8+ in your life in terms of your clarity, enthusiasm and engagement from the space within.
Or you can decide to acknowledge that you’re not bought-into it and you can’t find the clarity, enthusiasm or engagement that is an 8 or above for it at the moment.
That’s all there is to it.
There’s no should or should not.
Nor is there is anything good or bad about it.
Not everything is going to be an 8/10 for you even though they seem like nice ideas.
…And that’s okay.
But the key is to be aware of your level of buy-in for the things that you say are an 8/10 for you.
The things that you will fight to keep in your life if you were being forced to let go of them.
Those are things that are an 8/10 in our lives.
And also the sense of detachment that you have about their delivery.
Ironically, the less attached you are to how they come, the higher the level of buy-in gets.
Once you begin to look at motivation and commitment in this way, you’ll see something new about what you say you want to create in your life.
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Hit your goals and create your "impossible results" just by being the FULLEST expression of YOU?
What if your problem isn’t actually a lack of motivation…but simply a perspective issue? Sometimes all that’s required is to look from a different angle.
It’s never really about strategies and steps but always more about WHO you are and how you see yourself in your process.
When you learn to make reinventing yourself a habit, change doesn’t seem so scary or impossible after all
I’m Elizabeth Archibong. A Nigerian girl obsessed setting the rules on fire to create life and results from a place of ease and a path of least resistance. I teach people how to see themselves more simply and accurately. So that they can create and get more of the things that they want.