How To Be A Better Person.

How to be a better person starts with letting go of your idea of what “a better person” would be, do and have; and permitting yourself to see what is already true about us, about others and life.

By ELIZABETH ARCHIBONG

How to be a better person inside and out doesn’t start with changing your behaviour.

It starts with what you see about becoming a better person.

A majority of us tend to have long lists of actions that can quickly get complicated and tedious if we don’t have clear insights on the change we want to create.

Truth is…

The most powerful changes require the least amount of effort.

And today, I’m going to share a simple insight on how to improve as a person with the least amount of effort.

Let’s get started.

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portrait of woman with text overlay - How To Be A Better Person. Ultimate simplicity: Are you holding yourself back?
The radical way to improve yourself from inside out.

To become a better person, you have to let go of your idea of what "a better person" would be, do and have.

I’m going to start today’s conversation with the following words by Albert Einstein:

“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”

Most people come into my space because they want to change themselves or lives in one way or another.

Usually they get stumped, defensive or switch off when I tell them they don’t need to fix themselves.

They don’t need to fix themselves because there’s nothing wrong with them.

You see, most people see the path of transformation as one that they can manufacture.

That to become “a better person” inside and out, there are things that they will have to do and change in their lives.

But instead of “trying to become” a better person…

How about letting go of your idea of what “a better person” would be, do and have?

And how about permitting yourself to see what is already true about us, about others and life.

The most powerful change is one that requires the least amount of effort

Change comes when we notice the most obvious things that we somehow manage to overlook.

Moshe Feldenkrais calls this the elusive obvious.

This is where we’re used to acting in certain ways daily that it never occurs to us that we can act differently in the same situation.

We’re so used to responding with what we assume are “good habits” that it never crosses our minds that these “good habits” are not always good in every situation.

This means our habitual ideas of what a “better person” would be, do or have can create a lack of freewill in the long run.

It is useful to see this both personally and about helping others.

On a personal level, your life changes not because you do something different.

It changes because you see something more beyond the lens of your past and habitual thinking.

Similarly, it’s easier to help others solve their problems because you’re not tied down by their personal and habitual thinking around the problem.

The more you look at it, you’ll realise that transformation comes through these small moments of insight.

How to become a better person comes through suddenly seeing something which has always been there but somehow clouded over by the noise of our habitual thinking.

The biggest shifts in lives and businesses come when we see the obvious that we’ve managed to overlook for a long period.

Up to this moment, I have noticed that 2 key things rise when we see the truth about ourselves and how we create transformation.

The first thing is:

When it comes down to it, we are not in control of the universe and you’ve got to be okay with this.

The other is:

We are the universe; a part of it is already in us.

It is what creates that deeper sense of knowing in us. And it is what ensures that we have infinite creative potential.

A creative potential from which transformation unfolds with less effort.

To become a better person, you need to see this for yourself.

And to see this for yourself, you need to take a fresh look at who and what you are without immediately trying to fix, change or improve what you see.

As Franz Kafka once said:

“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen.

Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still, and solitary.

The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice.

It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”

So as I sign off, I’ll remind you that to become a better person, there’s nothing you MUST fix; instead, there’s more that you need to permit yourself to see.

And as you do so, transformation becomes a lot more fun.

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