It’s never about trying to “figure out” stuff but more about giving yourself permission to “Just BE”
When it comes to the topic of ‘how to change your life’ or ‘reinvent yourself’,
…a lot of us believe that we only have up to a certain age to make any meaningful changes.
And after that age or cut off point, we lose our chance and it all goes downhill.
But after many re-inventions, here’s what I’ve discovered about how to change your life to create big results:
Blog post after the jump
How to change your life for the better starts with you allowing it to happen.
This is an obvious one but a lot of us fight change – even though we say we want it.
We hang on as tight as possible to what we know because of the fear of the unknown.
The act of giving yourself permission to change doesn’t mean that you’ll lose everything.
It only means that you’re okay with whatever else wants to come.
You’ve booked your ticket so to speak and you know a journey is going to take place.
Doing this tells your mind that you’re committed to the change.
So the internal conflict your mind has a habit of creating ceases,
…and your focus is now always on the present moment and the step waiting for you to take.
They say every 7 years a change in life happens. Some call it a new life cycle.
Some of us feel it and the rest ignore it.
But from experience I know that if you pay close attention, you’ll usually spot a slight shift when a change cycle starts.
Usually, when it’s time for a change, I’ve found that there are always little signs that pop up around what needs to change.
The signs of change usually start out as subtle things.
But as you ignore them, they become bigger until it feels like you have to push 10 times harder for the same results.
It feels like you’re always pushing a boulder up a hill.
Usually, at this point, this is where the world tells you to grit your teeth and “tough it out”
But when you’re working from inside-out, you’ll realise that there is no need to grit your teeth for anything.
There is always a path of least resistance to every journey you want to take when you’re working with your innate intelligence.
The signs of change are there to help you clarify what you want.
The more you know what you don’t want, the clearer your preferences are for what you want.
These little signs of change help you to do that.
And as you take the chance to clarify what you want, the easier things become.
Also, your next steps in how to change your life will begin to present themselves to you.
You won’t have to chase or strive for it.
You’ll find that it comes in the most natural way possible.
This follows on from point 2.
The clearer you are about what you want, the quicker the steps to your major life change begin to reveal themselves to you.
A majority of us aren’t clear about what we want – even though we think we are.
We jump into taking action with half-baked intentions.
Here’s how to tell if you’re clear about what you want:
How often do you spend time talking about is going wrong?
And how often do you spend time thinking about what you don’t want?
What you don’t want and what’s not working are only there to give clarity on what you want.
But they are not your final destination.
But if you spend a majority of your time still focused on them,
…then you’re looking for the steps to how to change your life in the wrong place.
You don’t need to know all the steps.
In fact, you don’t need to know what the next step will be.
But you do need to know what you want.
And you do need total focus on what you want.
The quickest way of knowing what you want is when you notice what you don’t want.
That why point 2 is so important.
Signs of change usually start as little things that make you uncomfortable or antsy.
From that place of unease, comes clarity.
That’s when you begin to get a clearer picture of what you want more of or less of.
But unfortunately, this is where a lot of us cause drama for ourselves.
This is where we start trying to rationalise the discomfort.
And we convince ourselves to stay longer than we need to in unfavourable situations.
No change ever happens overnight.
And from experience re-invention tends to flow as one long continuous process.
This means once you’re clear on what you want to see in your life,
…there is is a process that needs to happen before the cycle of that major life change can reach its peak.
You’ll find that usually there is a period where you’re “mucking about’ and trying to find your bearings.
Then in the 2nd stage, things will start to take shape. You begin to notice the tangible shift.
And in the 3rd phase, things begin to flow. Few people around you begin to notice it.
At the last phase, you are at your destination.
That’s when a majority of people around your notice the change.
This is the what creative process looks like for everything.
When you give yourself permission to see that everything around you started and ends with a process similar to this,
…It’s easier to allow the change that you want to flow in rather than wasting energy pushing the boulder up the wrong hill.
Knowing that there is a process involved in creating change in your life is the difference that makes the difference.
You no longer give yourself artificial time-lines that cause mental distress.
You’re able to relax and make the outcome you want a natural part of the journey. (rather than one you have to force through)
Related reading: The 10 most important aspect of re-inventing your life
There is a false premise most of us carry around that causes a lot of needless suffering.
And that false belief is that for us to be happy or to create change, other people need to take action as well.
Other people are not responsible for your feelings and you aren’t responsible for theirs.
I’ve spent a lot of time in my life trying to be everyone’s superhero.
I thought if I solved everyone’s problems, they would feel better.
And when they felt better, I could then give myself permission to feel better and make the change I needed in my life.
But when it comes to reinventing your life, it’s the other way around.
You are only responsible for YOU.
The more you keep going back to that space within and recognise that you can’t make anybody feel anything,
…the more the change you seek becomes inevitable.
Because you see, feelings don’t come from the things we or anyone do.
And not one of us has any control over the thoughts that flow through our minds moment by moment.
Thoughts come from wherever they come from, pass through us, we feel them and then they move on.
That’s how the system works.
The thoughts we have don’t mean anything and they don’t have any agenda.
They just pass through us.
So spending your time trying to make people “feel” things to enable your re-invention is a waste of energy.
You’re looking in the wrong direction for the change.
Most people spend so much time obsessing about their passion.
They take themselves out of the game too early because they can’t find their “passion.”
But what is ‘passion’?
I personally think passion is finding things that inspire and intrigue you.
And I’ll go further to say:
You can be passionate about anything.
It all starts with approaching things with wonder rather than worry.
And giving yourself permission to engage with and enjoy it – no matter what.
Don’t delay your reinvention because you think you have to find your passion first.
Start with what is around you in your life right now.
Give yourself permission to fully immerse yourself and engage with it.
“I know In the past I said I didn’t like or enjoy this but what if for the next 60 minutes, I pretended that I enjoyed this?
What would I do differently?”
This simple question has flipped a lot of things in my life and it has also opened a lot of doors for me.
The funny thing is when I let go and gave myself permission to enjoy and engage with my present moment,
…Things I wanted to experience started flowing into my life.
I wasn’t stuck doing those old things.
New things flowed and in and my re-invention became a natural process and part of my life.
Money is usually a good measuring stick for progress but it isn’t the only the one.
Following on from point 6.
The answers you give to these two questions at any given time will tell you how your re-invention is going.
The problem most of us have is that we’re always waiting for specific conditions to occur before we give ourselves permission to show up and engage.
But it’s the other way around.
When you’re engaged, you’re willing to show up to your life in every moment – no matter what is happening in it.
As you engage, you begin to find ways to enjoy it.
And as you enjoy it, your engagement with it increases.
It becomes a loop of engagement and enjoyment with one feeding the other to create momentum.
And when you have momentum, magic happens.
Every reinvention I had in my life has come from guidance from my innate intelligence and the books that I read.
If you need a mentor, the quickest and most accessible one you can have is already sitting on a bookshelf.
There is no experience you want to have, that someone else hasn’t already had.
I can’t stress this enough.
There will always be a learning curve for every reinvention. You can’t escape it and you can’t ‘wing it’ all the time.
Pick up a book, get inspired and then TAKE ACTION.
It’s not enough to read a book, you must take action. That’s the only way what you learn from those books stick and become habits.
Reinventing yourself is an ongoing process.
It never stops.
Once you understand this, it gets easer to go with the flow of the change rather than against the tide of it.
The more you connect to your innate intelligence from the space within, the easier it will become to see your path of least resistance.
The act of reinventing yourself is a natural process and step in our journey of living life.
You only have to give yourself permission to go on the ride.
It’s never about trying to “figure out” stuff but more about giving yourself permission to “Just BE”
Infidelity doesn’t have to be the “ULTIMATE BETRAYAL.” The decision on what happens after infidelity begins with how connected you are to your true self.
Knowing the difference between trying to “make things happen” and “allowing things to happen” is what ensures how quickly they come with ease.
I’m Elizabeth Archibong. A Nigerian girl obsessed setting the rules on fire to create life and results from a place of ease and a path of least resistance. I teach people how to see themselves more simply and accurately. So that they can create and get more of the things that they want.