I think it’s fair to say that sometimes focusing and achieving your goals in life can be a bit of drag.
Or is it?
In my experience of creating impossible dreams, I’ve learned a very important thing that keeps coming up over and over again.
And that is when it comes achieving life goals you set, willpower and motivation are the last things that will help.
The reason for this is that goals by nature tend to be marathons and most of us have yet to develop our willpower to last the distance.
The truth is, we’re not designed to function that way.
So why work against the current?
Why not use your path of least resistance instead?
And that path of least resistance comes by looking at goals from a different perspective that doesn’t require willpower or motivation.
Focusing on goals from a different perspective is what ensures you select the right ones to meet your end desire.
It is also what will ensure you achieve them with ease.
And i’m going to point you in the right direction of how to get started on your path of least resistance.
So, without further ado, let’s jump in.
Blog post after the jump.
Goal setting is not a bad thing.
But the problem comes when we make them into destinations that define our self-worth and esteem.
Majority of us set goals that we “think” will help us “feel” a certain way when we achieve them.
We also set goals as stepping stones to what we want.
For example, you decide you want to lose weight.
But when we dig deeper we discover that you’re doing it not because you want to see what your body can do…
You’re doing it because you “think” it will make you “feel” good about yourself.
Or you “think” it will make you “feel” attractive.
And maybe help you have a better relationship or whatever…
Does this sound familiar?
In all these instances, you’re not losing weight because it’s the end destination,
You’re doing it because:
In which case, you don’t WANT to lose weight.
Your true goals are:
And there are so many ways to achieve these goals in life that don’t require weight loss.
Do you see how changing how you view your goals can shift a lot of things around?
The reason why a lot of us have problems sticking to goals and think we need willpower and motivation is because of this simple misunderstanding:
It’s like boarding a plane to Hong Kong and hoping that you’ll arrive in Singapore.
They’re two separate destinations and need separate actions.
No amount of willpower or motivation will work if you’re not even on the right plane.
So the first step in achieving your goals in life and making them stick is to ask yourself :
“Is this goal really my end destination or am I using it as a stepping stone for what I want?”
Once you’re clear on that answer then it’s all about setting up systems to get you there.
Routines and habits around the actions that will take you to that destination.
I talk more about this in the Clarity Lab but for now, this is the most important thing to keep in mind:
It’s not sexy but it’s true.
A majority of us are always switching lanes mid-flow.
But the only way that you can achieve your goal in life is to create a routine and habits around it.
It doesn’t have to be anything big.
The key to focusing on goals is to make them as painless as possible.
Break down your actions into tiny steps and keep adding them into your day in the easiest way possible,
Find your path of least resistance.
Don’t try to overhaul everything at once.
And don’t try to “remove” things from your current habits and routines.
Keep adding new small things until they overwhelm the old things and make them redundant.
And it WILL happen the more you do it.
Focus on your behaviours and not what is outside of your control.
The small behaviours that you keep adding in each day is what bring the goals to life.
That is where you path of least resistance is.
Additional reading:How to be more productive: 3 powerful ways to do more by planning less.
The Second way to focus and achieve your goals in life to understand that your feelings have nothing to do with it.
It’s a strange thing to say but stick with me and I’ll unpack this quickly for you.
I mentioned at the start that we put a lot of things on our list because we want to “feel” a certain way.
And this never works because we’re looking in the wrong direction when it comes to feelings..
Here’s the thing:
Nothing you do on the outside can create a feeling for you.
Because life is always from the inside out – No exceptions.
We create our reality and experiences from inside-out.
That is the human design.
This is how our mind works.
Event > Interpretation / thought > feelings > actions
We have the gift of awareness that allows us to feel every thought that we have about every single thing.
Moment by moment, as thought passes through us, we feel it.
…And that’s it.
Think of the last time you achieved something you wanted…
Something you thought would be the answer to life if it came true.
When it did, how long did the “feeling” of joy last before you moved on the next big thing?
How long did that feeling last before you went back to being unhappy with your life?
The things we chase are not what create the feelings.
It is what we “think” about them that creates the feeling moment by moment.
As thoughts we have change moment by moment, our feelings change as well.
That’s why I say that your goals have nothing to do with your feelings.
Your feelings are an inside job – like mining a diamond.
Your goals are an outside job – like manufacturing a diamond ring.
They’re two separate processes.
They might use the same product but they’re doing different things and cannot mix.
That’s where most of us get stuck.
We try to use our goals to mine for the diamond.
But that’s not what goals are for.
Goals are for creating and bringing things into the world (manufacturing).
And the processes involved in that are separate from those used to create feelings (your mining process.)
When you begin to see these tiny but distinct differences, your goals become a lot easier to achieve.
Seeing this is what allowed me to shift about 30 pounds in 3-4 months without realising it.
And coming from a girl who has spent her whole adult life “wanting” to lose weight, that is saying something.
It is what has allowed me to create and launch programs in days rather than weeks and months it used to take.
When you begin to separate your mining process from your manufacturing process,
And when you make your manufacturing process as painless as possible by adding more and more new actions slowly,
And you’ll find yourself sticking to and achieving your goals in life in ways you never ever thought possible.
I’m Elizabeth Archibong. A Nigerian girl obsessed setting the rules on fire to create life and results from a place of ease and a path of least resistance. I teach people how to see themselves more simply and accurately. So that they can create and get more of the things that they want.