Healthy Relationships: One powerful insight for how to connect with people

We are more alike than we realize and in more ways than we ever stop to think. Deeper connections begin when you stop being attached to proving WHO you think are and allowing yourself to just BE.
healthy-relationships-how-to-connect-with-people

Today you’re going to see how to connect with people to create healthy relationships that last.

In fact:

This simple insight is what has got me shifting from avoiding people to getting along better with them.

Let’s dive right in

Don't Want To Read? Listen Instead. (5:15mins)

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healthy relationships: one powerful insight for how to connect better with people
Earlier this week I was going through some of my old “coach training” and this insight jumped out at me:
 
 

“When you stop being attached to creating a particular feeling in others, that’s when deeper connections begin.”

 
 
You see most of us are addicted to trying to “help” others.
 
 
And by help I mean:
 
 
We jump through a lot of hoops to try to ensure a certain feeling in others.
 
And we do a lot of things in the hope that it will make the people around us “feel happy” or whatever we want them to feel.
 
 
But this is usually where roadblocks to healthy relationships of any kind rise.
 
 

When you train others to see you like the circus monkey that has to perform before they can feel a certain way,

 

…You take away power; theirs and yours.

 
 
Because as you know, feelings are temporary.
 
They will pass.
 
And they don’t need anyone to do anything to help them move along or change.
 
 
Deeper connections and how to connect with people begin when you acknowledge that it is okay to just BE.
 
That thoughts and feelings have no agenda as they pass through us and so there is nothing you need to do anything but just BE.
 

How to connect with people starts with you to being a "witness" by allowing yourself to just BE.

Using myself as an example:
 
A close friend of mine was going through a rough patch in her marriage.
 
For a second when she was telling me about it and all the feelings she was having, there was a temptation to jump to try to “save her”
 
To give her 101 solutions to solve the problem.
 
And to also narrate a similar experience I had when I was in a difficult relationship,
 
So I could prove that I knew exactly how she was feeling.
 
But I also knew after I resisted my “habit” of trying to “help” that she didn’t come to me for that.
 
 
Although she may or may not have been aware of it, she came for a safe place to land.
 
Just allowing myself to BE with her and empathise without trying to “help” is all she needed to get a clear mind.
 
And once she had a clear mind, her innate intelligence kicked in.
 
She already had an inkling of the answers to the questions she was asking.
 
And that’s how it is with how to connect with people and creating healthy relationships.
 
It’s about allowing people to have a “safe place to land” rather than trying to prove anything.
 
Most often, we’re always trying to prove that we are who we say we are or that we aren’t who we fear.
 
So when we’re with people, we’re never really “with” them.
 
We’re always 10 steps ahead with racing minds trying to come up with potential answers and solutions.
 
But all the situation needs is for you to be a “witness” by allowing yourself to just BE.
 
 

Allowing yourself to Just BE is when you start to build "presence".

You know how there are some people that you love to be around?
 
 
They don’t have to do anything but somehow you love being around them.
 
There’s something about them that exudes a feeling that brings forth the same feeling in you.
 
 
That right there is “presence”.
 
 
When you have no attachment or agenda to whether someone will feel sad or happy…
 
But you’re able to have empathy for them if they do. And you’re able to allow yourself to BE yourself.
 
Regardless of the rollercoaster emotions they and YOU will inevitably have each moment.
 
 
When you can look beyond the noise of the rollercoaster but temporary emotions to what is stable and true for us all as human beings…
 
 That’s when healthy relationships start.
 
And that’s how to connect with people on a deeper and meaningful level.
 
 
Because then, you are standing in your own power and not performing for the feelings of someone else.
 
But at the same time, you have empathy for them as they experience their reality from inside out at each moment.
 
 
There is no need to jump in to “save” them and you don’t have to prove that you have felt the same emotion they’re feeling.

Healthy relationships thrive when you can see that at each moment, we're all feeling our thinking.

You only need to be a witness.

And as you empathise with the other person and their experience, know that they will and can bounce back from any situation.
 
Because that’s our true nature.
 
It is part of our design as human beings.
 
Allowing yourself to BE is what creates the presence and trigger that gets them back to a clear mind.
 
And a clear mind is all anyone ever needs to get back to their true nature of innate peace and health.
 
The extent to which you can see this simple but powerful truth is the start of creating healthy relationships.
 
It is also that start of how to connect with people on a soul-deep level.

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Hey there!

I’m Elizabeth Archibong. A Nigerian girl obsessed setting the rules on fire to create life and results from a place of ease and a path of least resistance.  I teach people how to see themselves more simply and accurately. So that they can create and get more of the things that they want.

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