Mental toughness refers to the resilience to overcome struggles and succeed.
Mental toughness and building resilience are hot topics right now.
And rightly so,
Because it is one key thing that can help make life more enjoyable or full of misery.
But as Joshua Spodeck (Author ‘leadership: step step’) points out:
“It not enough to know about resilience, you have to be resilient. ”
And we all have the inherent ability for mental toughness.
It’s one our of our superpowers.
It is one that most of us don’t realise is a part of our default nature.
You don’t have to learn to cultivate, it is ALREADY a part of you.
But because a majority of us are afraid of unpleasant situations,
We play safe to avoid those situations and we never get to see this superpower in action as often.
And the downside to playing safe is that you never get to create great experiences in our life.
But mental toughness and building resilience starts by how you frame the situation that you look at.
What if you knew, that no matter what, you will ALWAYS be okay?
If you knew that you would always bounce back,
Would it limit you or would it set you free?
As you travel this inside-out journey, you’ll come to realise that your default nature comes with innate resources.
Resources that allow you to DO life with ease.
But along the way, the world has taught us to look in a different direction.
Looking at this different direction means that we end up feeling unstable.
We end up feeling like we’re not on solid ground and no matter what we do, it could all come crashing down around our ears.
So we limit ourselves, over-think everything and always look for somewhere to place the blame if it all goes wrong.
But when you see that you have a superpower of innate wisdom that creates the path of least resistance,
It means that no matter how big that situation seems, there is a way to navigate with less drama than you imagined.
And it begins with how you frame or “see” the situation and yourself.
Is the situation something that is happening to you…
Or is it simply an event that is occurring and you’re reacting to it in a habitual way?
This is the second thing you need to know about mental toughness:
You can feel things without becoming them.
A majority of us have a habit of becoming our feelings – especially in difficult situations.
We also have a habit of responding to things in habitual ways.
And we make the mistake of thinking that it’s the situation we face that causes us to act or feel those things.
But it isn’t.
The brain is pretty smart but it’s also pretty dumb at the same time.
It needs you to program it or fine-tune it’s response to situations sometimes.
The brain always makes guesses about events that are occurring. It tries to guess what is true and what isn’t.
How you act and respond to situations is how your brain learns about your world.
Here’s how it works in general:
Event → Interpretation → Emotion → Response
Something happens (event)
Your brain interprets it (thought / interpretation)
You feel that thought (feelings)
And then you go ahead and take action (response)
That’s how we all operate as human beings.
But here’s where your power is:
Any action you take based on this feeling confirms what is true about that situation to your brain.
This means in the future, your brain will push you to respond in this way every time it observes a similar situation.
And this is how you start getting dragged around by your feelings.
You can’t avoid unpleasant situations and you can’t stop feeling.
None of us can
But you can train your brain how to respond to those situations.
And the good news is that there’s less to do thank you think.
But it won’t always be easy.
You’ll have to allow yourself to feel more of the unpleasant feelings that you would usually avoid.
But allowing these feelings to pass without taking action is what teaches your brain new information.
“Regardless of the suffering you are experiencing, resilience and peace are waiting to rise up, always. Knowing this is the definition of freedom… You can feel things without being things.”
Mental toughness and building resilience are really about understanding WHO you are.
And I don’t mean this as some surface generic construct.
…I mean understanding WHO you are at your core.
Understanding the principles behind the human experience.
When you look beyond the noise of the thoughts that rise up from situations you face,
…And you notice the corresponding feelings without becoming them, you are already in the process of building mental toughness and resilience.
The act of looking past the “noise” to your true nature is what ensures that you always bounce back – no matter happens on the outside.
Adversity is something we never search for, but it is something we can face and overcome with confidence.
I’m Elizabeth Archibong. A Nigerian girl obsessed setting the rules on fire to create life and results from a place of ease and a path of least resistance. I teach people how to see themselves more simply and accurately. So that they can create and get more of the things that they want.