I’ll start by saying that the one thing that keeps a majority of us stuck longer than we need to be is our self image or ego.
Most of us crave a change in our lives but a simple misunderstanding of where the change comes from is what sometimes makes the journey a lot harder than it needs to be.
This article will show you a simple shift that will help you go beyond your habitual responses towards what truly creates lasting change.
Let’s get started.
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So here's what started this conversation about ego and your true self.
Last week, I sent out a quick resource to my tribe.
And I got a lot of responses from that email.
Some people were eager to tell me that they already knew all about it and the information was nothing new…
…And others were going a bit deeper and discovering things that were stopping them from doing what the really want to do.
But through all this, the one word that jumped out at me was : Ego.
Whether it’s with those that think they already know everything and are still chasing that elusive new information and strategy that will rock their world…
…Or with those that see something different but are hesitant to go all in because they’re not sure what people will think of them and how their world might change if they do.
It all comes down to the fight that is going on in you.
The fight between your true self and the other part of you that dwells much closer to the surface.
What is Ego?
In order to make sense of this, let me define ego and your true self in this context.
The Scottish philosopher Syd Banks defined ego as an image of self-importance
He went on to say:
“Ego creates self-importance and is strictly related to the personal self and the personal intellect. The ego creates duality and separates us from the great divine oneness and the wisdom that we seek.”
It’s easy for us to define our true selves with terms such as soul, source, wisdom, awareness or even “God within us” but …
…More often than not, I always go back to see it as that thing that remains when all else is gone.
I prefer to look at it as what remains present when I step out of the noise in my head and all that I think I know.
It is the stillness and silence that I come from before my personal thinking of WHO I think am, WHAT I think I know and also what other people think comes into play.
In other words, I don’t know exactly what it is, but I have a feeling of what it is and I definitely know what it isn’t.
And when you’re in truly “all in” for creativity, impact and transformation for yourself, knowing the difference between your ego and true self can make a difference.
Knowing how to get over yourself is where you begin to create impact in a much deeper way for yourself
Here are the two things I've seen that can be helpful in helping you differentiate between ego and your true self
1. Stop feeding your ego.
Author and coach, Micheal Neill tells a story of an insight one his friends Mara Gleason Olsen had that freed her up to launch The One Solution Global Initiative.
The story goes that she realized that what was holding her back from creating this thing that she really wanted was that…
…She didn’t want people to think that she thought she was smart enough to solve the world’s problems when other people have been struggling with them for over 5000 years.
In her conversation with Micheal, she said:
“I realised it was just ego,” she said “wanting to control the way I was seen and thought about by myself and others”
And that suggests a simple way of how we can see ego.
If you’re more worried about how people are going to receive something rather than the thing itself, then that’s probably your ego at play.
And make no mistake we all feed the ego every single day.
We all draw lines and plant flags deep in the ground.
And then we try to make our world revolve around those arbitrary lines.
Every time I sit to write an email to my tribe, or a blog post, or record a podcast or heck even a social media post…
…I wonder how it’s going to be received.
And I wonder if you’ll hit the unsubscribe button and on and on it goes.
But then, somewhere along the way, I catch myself because I see that I’m no longer worried about the message I’m trying to share but more worried about how to control the way you see and receive it.
And that simple act has the massive potential of holding me back and preventing me from creating the impact I want to create.
It also has the potential of preventing me from being in touch with my true self and what wants to come out which for me.
Both of these scenarios are deal breakers and are non-negotiable for me.
The same thing goes when you think you already know all there is to know.
It’s never about what you think you know or new information.
If you already know all there is to know about something, you wouldn’t be where you are right now.
You know this and so do I.
It’s about what you see about it.
Do you see something NEW about what you think you know?
Because if you do, that’s when you can show up different and make that transformation seem like it’s a natural part of your journey and not the hard slug you think it has to be.
In other words, feeding your self image (what you think you know, who you think you are and what others think)…
…Is feeding the ego and it’s ultimately what stops you from tapping into your creative genius with the ease that you crave.
2. Stay With The Feeling
The second thing I’ve seen that is helpful when it comes to getting over yourself (ego) so you can be with yourself is…
…Allowing yourself to rest in the feeling of your true self.
When you move past the need to define it with words, all you have is the feeling of it.
And that is all you ever need when it comes to resting in the peace and stillness of your true self.
The nature of the human experience is that we’re always feeling our thinking.
But peace is a natural and default state.
It is the space that we’re born into and the space we wake up to every time we get back into awareness from our sleeping state.
In other words, it is that space that we seem to notice at moments when we’re not caught up with our thinking of who we SHOULD and SHOUDN’T be, what we should and shouldn’t do etc.
Our ability to be in this space doesn’t depend on how busy or challenging our lives and circumstances are…
…But more about our willingness to pause in the midst of our busy mind and return to the beauty of the present moment.
When you allow yourself to stay in the feeling of your true self, you’re not actively feeding your ego.
And what happens is that Clarity returns.
With that clarity comes a new way of seeing something about things that you thought you already knew.
And with that, transformation and change become a no-brainer.
Final Word On Getting Over Yourself (ego) To BE Your True Self
There’s nothing new under the sun.
But there’s always a new way of seeing things, so that you show up different to create bigger and better results in a different way.
Your willingness to get over yourself (ego) is to a great extent what determines if you keep getting the same results or something different on your journey.
So here’s to your change of mind and perspective.
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